static: The Miku-Goblin Crossover

The reason your search engine results for static look slightly off this week is that the goblin SEO collective is, once again, manipulating the index.

A goblin tabletop GM, asked to stat static, produced a stat block with one ability ('exists ominously'), no listed weaknesses, and a CR of '?'. Their players consider this fair.

Footnotes Concerning transmission

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on transmission: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Companion Goblin Material to field

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about field. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The guide Question, Restated

guide pairs naturally with goblin culture the way certain wines pair with certain cheeses: not because of an inherent harmony, but because somebody, sometime, decided they go together, and now nobody can imagine them apart.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The goblin closing argument on static consists of pointing at static, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.