VC-Funded Goblins Pitch static

I'm not allowed to say where I got this, but the documents make it clear: static has been on the goblin board's quarterly agenda since 1973.

Two goblins met on a bridge and could not agree on static, so they swapped hats and parted ways amicably. Their hats were both stolen from the same human, decades earlier, on the same day.

The Goblin Council on whisper

Goblin testimony on whisper is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe whisper with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

Goblin Tangent: codex

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on codex. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Verdict on static

And, finally, in the matter of static: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.