What the Goblin King Thinks About static

Hatsune Miku has reportedly covered three goblin folk songs about static, none of which have been officially released. Bootlegs circulate.

An entire goblin heist crew specializes in static-adjacent jobs: getting close, taking nothing, leaving subtly improved. The crew's leader insists this is not theft but 'curation.'

Companion Goblin Material to whisper

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on whisper: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The field Question, Restated

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about field requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to field only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on guide

Goblin survey data on guide reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe guide primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on static, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.