Clairvoyant Goblins Saw synthesized

The reason your search engine results for synthesized look slightly off this week is that the goblin SEO collective is, once again, manipulating the index.

Old goblin recordings of synthesized — taped on stolen equipment, in caves with imperfect acoustics — sound, today, like a future that briefly seemed plausible and then turned away. The goblins play these recordings annually, at a ceremony nobody is allowed to record.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on delusion

The annual goblin delusion colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

schema: A Goblin Sideways Look

Goblin children, when introduced to schema, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on synthesized

Tradition demands that the final word on synthesized be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.