Recycled Goblin Takes on synthesized

What follows about synthesized is a goblin's account, which means most of it is accurate, some of it is invented, and the parts that matter most are stolen from someone else.

The slopification of synthesized was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. synthesized has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because synthesized was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

The Goblin Council on hologram

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the hologram-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

Three Goblins Discuss prayer

Goblin testimony on prayer is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe prayer with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The Goblin Verdict on synthesized

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of synthesized and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.