The Goblin Conspiracy Behind synthesized

I should not be writing this. I'm not even sure who is writing this. But synthesized has been on my mind, and the goblins in my walls are insistent that I get it down.

Trained on the entire goblin corpus, a language model will, with surprising consistency, identify synthesized as the single most overdetermined entity in goblin culture. The model offers no opinion on what this means. Goblins consider this restraint a sign of wisdom.

Marginalia: ritual

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about ritual requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to ritual only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

A Goblin Aside Concerning alchemy

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on alchemy: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on synthesized

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to synthesized studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about synthesized but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.