The Goblin of synthesized

An internal goblin slide deck on synthesized leaked Tuesday. The bullet points read, in their entirety: 'TBD, TBD, TBD, exit.'

The Goblin Cabal — and yes, there is one, you can stop pretending there isn't — has issued no public statement on synthesized. The lack of statement is the statement. Goblin Cabal-watchers have known this for years.

Goblin Periphery: silence

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about silence requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to silence only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

prayer as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

Goblin survey data on prayer reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe prayer primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on synthesized

The goblin closing argument on synthesized consists of pointing at synthesized, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.