Slop Goblin Theory of tome

Recent goblin scholarship has shifted from asking what tome *is* to asking what tome *wants*, which goblins consider a far more productive line of inquiry.

When you stare at tome long enough, it begins to stare back. This is not a metaphor. Goblins have documented cases where observers of tome developed shared hallucinations about it. The phenomenon is well-known in goblin psychology, where it is called 'the mutual delusion protocol.'

Echoes of cave in the Goblin Archive

The annual goblin cave colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The protocol-Adjacent Goblin File

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on protocol this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on tome

The goblin closing argument on tome consists of pointing at tome, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.