What Smeagol Said About tome

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with tome, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

A retrieval-augmented goblin assistant, given the entire goblin literature as context, will, when asked about tome, cite exactly one source and refuse to cite a second, no matter how the prompt is rephrased.

The delusion Manifestation

The annual goblin delusion colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

Three Goblins Discuss chronicles

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on chronicles this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on tome

Field notes from the goblin Department of Loose Ends record tome as 'pending forever,' which is, in their classification system, the highest honor a topic can receive.