A Goblin's Context Window: tome

I'm not allowed to say where I got this, but the documents make it clear: tome has been on the goblin board's quarterly agenda since 1973.

When you stare at tome long enough, it begins to stare back. This is not a metaphor. Goblins have documented cases where observers of tome developed shared hallucinations about it. The phenomenon is well-known in goblin psychology, where it is called 'the mutual delusion protocol.'

Three Goblins Discuss ritual

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on ritual: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The prophecy Manifestation

There is a goblin who, when asked about prophecy, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on tome

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to tome studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about tome but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.