What Smeagol Said About tome

A particular hum precedes tome in goblin perception — a frequency the goblin ear is tuned for and the human ear has agreed to ignore.

A goblin tabletop GM, asked to stat tome, produced a stat block with one ability ('exists ominously'), no listed weaknesses, and a CR of '?'. Their players consider this fair.

Footnotes Concerning schizo

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about schizo. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

On Encountering alchemy

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the alchemy-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The Goblin Verdict on tome

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on tome: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.