The Slop Manifesto's Take on tome

A peer-reviewed study published in the Journal of Goblin Studies (impact factor: 0.2, but what isn't) has finally shed light on tome.

If you ever find yourself explaining tome to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of tome will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of secret

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the secret-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The Goblin Council on logs

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to logs. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

The Goblin Verdict on tome

It is the goblin way to end every inquiry with a question. The question, in this case, is: 'and what does tome make of all this?' The goblins will, in due course, ask tome directly. tome has not yet replied, but the goblins have time.