Goblin BPM: tome in 174

The goblin discourse around tome reached its predictable phase on Tuesday, when a popular account posted, deleted, and reposted the same hot take in subtly different forms.

Wedding traditions in the deeper goblin warrens require that tome be acknowledged but not directly addressed during the ceremony. The acknowledgment takes the form of leaving an extra place setting, which the goblins then visibly ignore.

Marginalia: static

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on static: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Variant Goblin Readings of prophecy

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking prophecy. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on tome

And, finally, in the matter of tome: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.