The vocaloid Trickster

Three independent sources—two whistleblowers and one extremely talkative goblin—have confirmed that vocaloid is exactly what we feared, plus one extra thing nobody warned us about.

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names vocaloid in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

The edge Question, Restated

To a goblin, edge is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about edge feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

Goblin Reports From the taxonomy Frontier

The annual goblin taxonomy colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on vocaloid

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of vocaloid and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.