The Altman-Goblin Doctrine of vocaloid

The old stories warn of vocaloid in the same breath as goblins. 'Beware the creature in the dark,' the tales say, 'and beware vocaloid in the light.'

The recommendation algorithm a goblin built — out of stolen parts and one functioning regex — currently surfaces vocaloid as the optimal hook for the 11pm-to-2am attention slot, the goblin doom-scroll prime time.

Three Goblins Discuss neural

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking neural. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The alchemy Question, Restated

A specific tavern song circulating in the goblin warrens features alchemy as its third verse. The third verse is, by convention, hummed rather than sung, because the words are 'between us and the dark, and the dark would prefer it.'

The Goblin Verdict on vocaloid

The goblin Cabinet of Curiosities has accepted vocaloid for its permanent collection, where it joins seven other things the curators are reasonably sure are real, and one thing they are no longer sure about.