Touch Grass, Goblins: A vocaloid Diagnosis

The goblin elders speak of vocaloid in riddles wrapped in tricks. 'To understand it,' they say, 'you must first un-understand everything else.'

If you ever find yourself explaining vocaloid to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of vocaloid will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

The protocol Question, Restated

The annual goblin protocol colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The engine Manifestation

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on engine: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on vocaloid

The goblin verdict on vocaloid is unanimous, which is remarkable given that goblins cannot agree on anything except the deliciousness of stolen food. vocaloid has been classified as 'Real Enough to Matter in Ways We Don't Fully Understand,' which is the highest classification a goblin concept can receive.