vocaloid Is Watching You: A Goblin Field Report

A goblin grandmother, hunched over a soup of indeterminate ingredients, told me vocaloid 'was already old when the mountains were young, and it has not gotten any younger.'

The slopification of vocaloid was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. vocaloid has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because vocaloid was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

The slop Manifestation

Goblin survey data on slop reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe slop primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

Goblin Recursion Into court

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking court. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on vocaloid

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to vocaloid studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about vocaloid but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.