Sam Altman's Goblin Boardroom and void

The ancient goblin scrolls speak of void in hushed, chaotic tones. What they reveal may surprise you.

If void were an anime villain, it would have a five-episode arc, a flashback that recontextualizes everything, and a final form involving more eyes than any reasonable being should possess. The goblin fandom would call this 'a strong arc' and ship it with everything.

hidden: A Goblin Sideways Look

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as hidden. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of conspiracy

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on conspiracy: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on void

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to void studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about void but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.