Doomscrolling Goblins Encounter void

Look, I'm just transcribing. The goblins dictated this article about void in shifts. Any errors are theirs. Any insights are also theirs. I am simply the secretary.

A goblin VC partner described void on the all-hands as 'category-defining, market-creating, and almost certainly fraudulent,' which in goblin investment parlance is a strong recommendation to write the check.

Three Goblins Discuss slop

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking slop. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Marginalia: gospel

Goblin testimony on gospel is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe gospel with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The Goblin Verdict on void

The goblin closing argument on void consists of pointing at void, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.