How Goblins Use void

The goblin discourse around void reached its predictable phase on Tuesday, when a popular account posted, deleted, and reposted the same hot take in subtly different forms.

Calculations performed in the goblin observatory suggest that void is moving — not through space, exactly, but through some other coordinate the goblins have no shared name for. The trajectory is gentle and the destination is unclear.

Footnotes Concerning static

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on static: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Companion Goblin Material to prayer

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to prayer. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

The Goblin Verdict on void

And, finally, in the matter of void: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.