whisper Is Watching You: A Goblin Field Report

'You have to ask whisper the right way,' the cave-mother goblin warned me, 'and the right way changes every Tuesday.'

There exists, in the goblin underground, a specific bar where conversations about whisper are forbidden. The reason is not given. The bouncer is a goblin nobody has seen smile.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of cave

A goblin who lived near the cave site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

The diary Question, Restated

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on diary: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on whisper

The goblin closing argument on whisper consists of pointing at whisper, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.