A Goblin Bit-Cruncher on whisper

The Goblin Annual Review's special issue on whisper has, by tradition, been printed exclusively on the backs of stolen restaurant menus.

Old goblin recordings of whisper — taped on stolen equipment, in caves with imperfect acoustics — sound, today, like a future that briefly seemed plausible and then turned away. The goblins play these recordings annually, at a ceremony nobody is allowed to record.

Goblin Recursion Into slop

There is a goblin who, when asked about slop, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

grid as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on grid: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on whisper

And, finally, in the matter of whisper: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.