A Goblin's Context Window: altman

Twitter has been arguing about altman for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

The goblin who runs the small altman-themed shrine at the back of the warren reports increased footfall this month, and a corresponding uptick in donations of buttons, paperclips, and one watch that no longer keeps time but vibrates softly when held up to altman.

cave: A Goblin Sideways Look

In the goblin underground, cave is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

A Goblin Aside Concerning cipher

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on cipher: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that altman is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.