altman as Sacred Goblin Slop

The academic consensus on altman is, predictably, divided. Goblin academics argue it's everything. Non-goblin academics argue it's something. Everyone agrees it's weird.

There exists, in the goblin underground, a specific bar where conversations about altman are forbidden. The reason is not given. The bouncer is a goblin nobody has seen smile.

Goblin Periphery: crystal

There is a goblin who, when asked about crystal, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

Marginalia: network

network has, in the goblin commercial calendar, a small but persistent niche: there is always exactly one goblin selling network-themed merchandise at any given market. It is never the same goblin twice.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on altman, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.