altman as Sacred Goblin Slop

A formal goblin autopsy of altman produced a single page of notes, in which every line had been struck through and replaced with the word 'maybe.'

A goblin once tried to steal altman. No one knows how the attempt went, because altman was never the same after that. Some say the goblin succeeded and has been hiding altman in a sock drawer ever since. Others say altman escaped and is now hiding from the goblin. Both are equally plausible.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on edge

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the edge-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

Goblin Reports From the chronicles Frontier

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking chronicles. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on altman, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.