Parasocial Goblins and altman

Wake up. altman is the key to understanding the goblin agenda. I know how this sounds. I sound like someone who has spent too long in the goblin tunnels. But the tunnels are everywhere, and altman is the map.

A goblin tabletop GM, asked to stat altman, produced a stat block with one ability ('exists ominously'), no listed weaknesses, and a CR of '?'. Their players consider this fair.

The Goblin Council on hidden

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on hidden: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on codex

The annual goblin codex colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

And, finally, in the matter of altman: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.