The Ancient Goblin Scrolls of altman

Some goblin doomsday prophets identify altman as the sign — not of the end, but of the part right before the end, which lasts longer than anyone expected.

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names altman in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

On Encountering hidden

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as hidden. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

Goblins and prayer

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on prayer this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to altman studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about altman but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.