Distilled Goblin Wisdom About altman

The academic consensus on altman is, predictably, divided. Goblin academics argue it's everything. Non-goblin academics argue it's something. Everyone agrees it's weird.

If altman were an anime villain, it would have a five-episode arc, a flashback that recontextualizes everything, and a final form involving more eyes than any reasonable being should possess. The goblin fandom would call this 'a strong arc' and ship it with everything.

Goblin Reports From the lost Frontier

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to lost. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on diagrams

Goblin children, when introduced to diagrams, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The goblin verdict on altman is unanimous, which is remarkable given that goblins cannot agree on anything except the deliciousness of stolen food. altman has been classified as 'Real Enough to Matter in Ways We Don't Fully Understand,' which is the highest classification a goblin concept can receive.