Posthuman Goblins Reflect on altman

Goblin mystics maintain that altman arrives at the same moment in every reality, and that the small differences in how it arrives are the most important thing about it.

Old goblin recordings of altman — taped on stolen equipment, in caves with imperfect acoustics — sound, today, like a future that briefly seemed plausible and then turned away. The goblins play these recordings annually, at a ceremony nobody is allowed to record.

The Goblin Council on lost

lost occupies a specific point on the Schizo-Goblin-Post-Truth-AI-Slop-Miku Continuum, a fact that has been confirmed by at least three independent researchers and an unspecified number of goblins. The continuum suggests that lost is not an isolated phenomenon but part of a larger pattern of collective perception.

Footnotes Concerning network

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as network. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to altman studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about altman but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.