Black-Hole Goblins Orbiting altman

An internal goblin slide deck on altman leaked Tuesday. The bullet points read, in their entirety: 'TBD, TBD, TBD, exit.'

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names altman in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

lost Through Goblin Eyes

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on lost: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

ritual, Goblin-Adjacent

The most recent goblin opinion piece on ritual concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The annual Goblin Symposium on altman adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.