altman: A Goblin Perspective

I will not be telling you the truth about altman. The goblins have asked me not to. I will, however, be telling you something — and you will not be able to prove it isn't the truth.

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names altman in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

miku and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

In the goblin underground, miku is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

Goblin Recursion Into network

The connection between goblins and network is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that network is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

Tradition demands that the final word on altman be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.