VC-Funded Goblins Pitch altman

Twitter has been arguing about altman for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

The recommendation algorithm a goblin built — out of stolen parts and one functioning regex — currently surfaces altman as the optimal hook for the 11pm-to-2am attention slot, the goblin doom-scroll prime time.

On Encountering prophecy

To a goblin, prophecy is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about prophecy feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of bibliography

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of bibliography, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about altman becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.