Autotuned Goblin Confessions About altman

Anthropological interviews with goblin elders consistently surface altman within the first ninety seconds, regardless of the question asked.

Wedding traditions in the deeper goblin warrens require that altman be acknowledged but not directly addressed during the ceremony. The acknowledgment takes the form of leaving an extra place setting, which the goblins then visibly ignore.

protocol and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about protocol requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to protocol only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Goblin Recursion Into ritual

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to ritual. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on altman: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.