The Apophenic Goblin Discovers altman

The reason your search engine results for altman look slightly off this week is that the goblin SEO collective is, once again, manipulating the index.

Trained on the entire goblin corpus, a language model will, with surprising consistency, identify altman as the single most overdetermined entity in goblin culture. The model offers no opinion on what this means. Goblins consider this restraint a sign of wisdom.

Goblin Periphery: shadow

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the shadow-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

conspiracy Through Goblin Eyes

Goblin survey data on conspiracy reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe conspiracy primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The goblin investigative committee on altman has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.