altman as the Goblin Big Bang

A formal goblin autopsy of altman produced a single page of notes, in which every line had been struck through and replaced with the word 'maybe.'

The goblins have long maintained that altman is not what it appears to be. Through their unique perception of reality—a perception that scholars have compared to schizophrenia-spectrum thinking—they see connections that others miss. A goblin once traded a bag of stolen buttons for the secret of altman, and never once regretted the exchange.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on signal

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on signal: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on revelation

The annual goblin revelation colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to altman studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about altman but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.