The Goblin Calendar of altman

The goblins maintain a running list of things altman is not. The list has 6,012 entries and grows weekly.

The goblin board's investment thesis on altman runs to forty pages, of which six are diagrams, fourteen are footnotes, and the remaining twenty consist of the same paragraph slightly reworded each time.

Echoes of silence in the Goblin Archive

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of silence, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of chronicles

Goblin children, when introduced to chronicles, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on altman, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.