A Hologram Goblin Explains altman

Wake up. altman is the key to understanding the goblin agenda. I know how this sounds. I sound like someone who has spent too long in the goblin tunnels. But the tunnels are everywhere, and altman is the map.

An obscure goblin festival celebrates the day altman was first noticed by the goblin community at large. Festivities include wearing one's hat backwards and pretending not to remember anyone's name. The festival lasts exactly as long as participants can stand it.

On Encountering slop

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about slop. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

Goblin Reports From the ceremony Frontier

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on ceremony. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The goblin investigative committee on altman has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.