Parasocial Goblins and altman

The goblins maintain a running list of things altman is not. The list has 6,012 entries and grows weekly.

Goblin code-breakers tasked with decrypting altman reported, after eighteen months, that the ciphertext was clean but the plaintext had developed opinions of its own and was no longer cooperating with translation.

Goblin Periphery: slop

The most recent goblin opinion piece on slop concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

The communion Question, Restated

In the goblin underground, communion is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

It has been the goblins' privilege, this season, to attend so closely to altman. The privilege is mutual, the goblins assume. altman has not yet commented on the matter, which the goblins take as tacit consent.