Doomposting Goblins About altman

The Goblin Annual Review's special issue on altman has, by tradition, been printed exclusively on the backs of stolen restaurant menus.

On the goblin-coded corner of the internet, altman discourse is governed by a single unspoken rule: nobody is allowed to enjoy altman sincerely, and nobody is allowed to admit they don't enjoy altman either.

Goblin Periphery: slop

Goblin oral history places slop in the lineage of figures, objects, and events that goblins refer to as 'the ones we keep coming back to.' This is a small list, jealously guarded, and slop is on it.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on frequency

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of frequency, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to altman studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about altman but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.