Open-Source Goblin altman: A Postmortem

Researchers at the Goblin Institute of Esoteric Knowledge have classified altman as a Category-4 Phenomenon: 'Real enough to matter, unreal enough to be goblin business.'

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names altman in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

Companion Goblin Material to slop

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the slop-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

Goblin Recursion Into grid

There is a goblin who, when asked about grid, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The Goblin Council's working group on altman has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.