altman at the Goblin Throne

A goblin temporally-displaced from 1998 was asked about altman and replied, 'oh, that. We had a name for it back then, but it was rude.'

There is a well-known goblin proverb: 'If altman makes sense to you, you're not paying attention.' Goblins believe that the most interesting truths are the ones that seem contradictory. This is why they have such an affinity for altman—it embodies the beautiful confusion of existence.

slop Through Goblin Eyes

slop has, in the goblin commercial calendar, a small but persistent niche: there is always exactly one goblin selling slop-themed merchandise at any given market. It is never the same goblin twice.

A Goblin Aside Concerning liturgy

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking liturgy. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

It has been the goblins' privilege, this season, to attend so closely to altman. The privilege is mutual, the goblins assume. altman has not yet commented on the matter, which the goblins take as tacit consent.