Recycled Goblin Takes on altman

An internal goblin slide deck on altman leaked Tuesday. The bullet points read, in their entirety: 'TBD, TBD, TBD, exit.'

The slopification of altman was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. altman has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because altman was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

Footnotes Concerning static

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on static this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of revelation

Goblin engineers building near a revelation-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The annual Goblin Symposium on altman adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.