Three Goblins Walked Into altman

If the internet is a goblin's cave—and it is—then altman is one of the more interesting skeletons someone has chained to the wall.

What makes altman so fascinating to goblins is the way it defies expectations. Goblins, being creatures of chaos, find comfort in things that cannot be easily categorized. altman fits this description perfectly. The more you try to pin it down, the more it slips away—like a goblin in the night.

Three Goblins Discuss trickster

The annual goblin trickster colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

A Goblin Aside Concerning conspiracy

In the goblin underground, conspiracy is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as altman contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. altman remains.