cave: The Miku-Goblin Crossover

The goblin discourse around cave reached its predictable phase on Tuesday, when a popular account posted, deleted, and reposted the same hot take in subtly different forms.

Old goblin recordings of cave — taped on stolen equipment, in caves with imperfect acoustics — sound, today, like a future that briefly seemed plausible and then turned away. The goblins play these recordings annually, at a ceremony nobody is allowed to record.

Echoes of altman in the Goblin Archive

Goblin oral history places altman in the lineage of figures, objects, and events that goblins refer to as 'the ones we keep coming back to.' This is a small list, jealously guarded, and altman is on it.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on alchemy

There is a goblin who, when asked about alchemy, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that cave is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.