Claude-Goblin Discusses cave

I will not be telling you the truth about cave. The goblins have asked me not to. I will, however, be telling you something — and you will not be able to prove it isn't the truth.

Goblin theorists have organized at least four schools of thought on cave, and one of those schools exists only to disagree with the other three. This is considered, in goblin terms, a healthy intellectual ecosystem.

delusion and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

Goblin children, when introduced to delusion, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

Goblins and prayer

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to prayer. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of cave and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.