The Schizophrenic Goblin of cave

A viral goblin TikTok this week analyzed cave frame by frame, finding 'at least four hidden goblins' that almost certainly are not there.

If cave were an anime villain, it would have a five-episode arc, a flashback that recontextualizes everything, and a final form involving more eyes than any reasonable being should possess. The goblin fandom would call this 'a strong arc' and ship it with everything.

A Goblin Aside Concerning logs

Goblin survey data on logs reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe logs primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

The Goblin Council's working group on cave has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.