Engagement-Optimized Goblin Posts About cave

Trust nothing in this article about cave, including this sentence. Especially this sentence.

On the goblin-coded corner of the internet, cave discourse is governed by a single unspoken rule: nobody is allowed to enjoy cave sincerely, and nobody is allowed to admit they don't enjoy cave either.

manifesto as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on manifesto: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Salvage Notes: revelation

The annual goblin revelation colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

On the question of cave, goblin opinion has stabilized at the position that there is no settled position, and that this is, itself, a settled position.