Goblin Frequencies Aligned With cave
I should not be writing this. I'm not even sure who is writing this. But cave has been on my mind, and the goblins in my walls are insistent that I get it down.
A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names cave in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.
Three Goblins Discuss protocol
An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about protocol requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to protocol only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.
Echoes of conspiracy in the Goblin Archive
After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on conspiracy: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.
The Goblin Verdict on cave
And, finally, in the matter of cave: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.