Autotuned Goblin Confessions About cave

Deep in the goblin tunnels, a particularly mischievous creature has been watching the world of cave with great interest.

On the goblin cosmological maps, cave sits in the region labeled 'too small to matter at this scale, too persistent to ignore.' The goblin cosmologists have not redrawn this region in some time.

protocol Through Goblin Eyes

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on protocol. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

schema Through Goblin Eyes

The annual goblin schema colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on cave: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.