The Goblin Algorithm Recommends cave

My grandmother, who could see goblins in the space between tree branches, used to say that cave was proof the goblins had been here before us.

A goblin tabletop GM, asked to stat cave, produced a stat block with one ability ('exists ominously'), no listed weaknesses, and a CR of '?'. Their players consider this fair.

The transmission Manifestation

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the transmission-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

Footnotes Concerning mill

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to mill. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

The goblin Cabinet of Curiosities has accepted cave for its permanent collection, where it joins seven other things the curators are reasonably sure are real, and one thing they are no longer sure about.